Divorce is a hugely stressful process, and it’s always emotionally charged. However, couples going through divorce are routinely encouraged to keep their thoughts, feelings and – most importantly – the details of their divorce as private as possible.
Why does it matter? Why should you restrict yourself to only sharing your anger, frustration or pain with your therapist and one or two close confidants? Why shouldn’t you “live authentically” and share your truth with others?
It can affect the outcome of your divorce
First, you need to consider how what you say may reflect on you in court. If you put your spouse’s shortcomings on blast on your social media page that can be used as evidence to support claims that you’re volatile, a bully or unable to effectively prioritize your children. Social media was used in evidence in about 60% of divorces in 2021 alone. Ultimately, that can affect everything from the property division process to your custody rights.
If can permanently damage your relationship with your children
You need to prioritize your children’s well-being, and you aren’t doing that if you disparage their other parent. No matter what your spouse did wrong, they’re still your children’s other parent – and your children love them. Instead of “winning them over” to your way of thinking, you could alienate them totally by not being respectful to their other parent.
It can negatively affect your professional reputation
People are going to judge you by your behavior, especially if you’re a professional or in the public eye. If you “go low” and your spouse “goes high,” people may perceive you as aggressive, vindictive or cruel – and that can affect your public standing.
It can further damage your relationship with your spouse
You may think, “Who cares?” right now – but when you have children together, you may have to interact with your co-parent for many years to come, even once the kids are adults. If you try to trash your spouse’s reputation now, that may make navigating co-parenting today and the kids’ weddings tomorrow much harder.
Since your divorce is probably the biggest thing happening in your life, it can be frustrating to keep the details to yourself – but it’s really in your own best interest. Experienced legal guidance can often help you get through the divorce process faster, and that can make it easier to put your focus on something new.