Some parents who are hesitant to get divorced are simply thinking about their kids. There’s this idea that divorce is going to have a negative impact on them—emotionally, academically, developmentally, etc—so some parents will stay in an unhappy marriage just for the kids.
In some ways, this is admirable because it is clear that the parents care about their children’s well-being. But the important thing to know is that divorce is not always a negative event for the children—and could actually be a positive one. It all depends on the situation.
Considering conflict levels
For instance, some studies show that it is very difficult and stressful for children to live in a high-conflict household. So if two people are not getting along and they are constantly having arguments and disagreements, they may stay in that relationship because they think it’s better for the children, but it’s actually having a negative impact the entire time. It may be better for the children if the couple just got divorced because this would reduce the stress levels at home and the conflict that the children are exposed to.
Additionally, being in a high-stress marriage is taxing and takes a lot of energy. Parents who end that marriage may find that they’re actually able to refocus on their children and give them more time and attention. They both become better parents after the divorce than they ever could have been while they were still married.
Every situation is unique, but it is important to consider how divorce will impact children and what legal steps to take as a marriage ends.