Birdnesting is a somewhat uncommon but often helpful child custody solution. Parents are often worried that their children will not enjoy having to move back and forth between two homes, so instead, they allow the children to remain in the marital home. The parents then move in and out whenever they have custody. This can give the children a bit more stability and they know what to expect after the divorce.
But if it’s better for the children, why don’t more parents do it? It’s important to consider some of the main challenges before deciding if this is right for you.
It’s an expensive option
Often, the biggest issue is just the expense. Parents will need to own the family home, where the children live. They’ll also need to own secondary homes where they can live when they don’t have custody. All of these costs tend to add up, and it may be prohibitive.
It can increase conflict
Another thing to consider is that it may increase conflict between the parents. Even though they are not living in the family home together, they both own it and are responsible for things like maintenance, cleaning, upkeep and much more. They still have to share that living space and see each other frequently.
They may want a fresh start
Finally, some parents don’t want to try birdnesting simply because they want more of a fresh start as their marriage ends. They’re not interested in living in the same family home where they lived during the marriage. This may depend on the couple’s individual dynamics and the reasons for the divorce.
Even if birdnesting isn’t necessarily right for you, it does help to illustrate how there are many different custody options and why it’s so important to consider them all carefully as you move through the divorce.