Having children means you and your ex-spouse will always have some form of a relationship. And you probably already understand that your children need both of you to be involved in their lives.
Couples going through contentious divorces often struggle to remain cordial, despite it being in their child’s best interests. But how can you have an effective co-parenting relationship when you can’t stand the sight of each other?
What is parallel parenting?
You may already be familiar with the concept of co-parenting, a collaborative approach where both parents work together to raise their children. Successful co-parenting relationships are built on mutual respect, open communication and shared decision-making.
Parallel parenting requires that the parents have minimal direct contact with each other. This approach is for parents who can’t interact with each other without the conversation becoming emotionally damaging or unproductive. The primary goal in parallel parenting is to protect the children from their parents’ ongoing conflicts.
Key features include:
- Minimal communication is conducted through emails or a parenting app
- Independent decision-making
- Each parent establishes their own household rules and routines
- A detailed parenting schedule that is strictly followed
- Brief, business-like custody exchanges in neutral locations
With firm boundaries in place, each parent can maintain a relationship with their children without the stress of interacting with their ex-partner.
While co-parenting is the ideal to strive for, you need to do an honest assessment to determine if you and your ex can maintain civility. If not, you may be doing your children more harm than good by repeatedly exposing them to conflict.
If you’re concerned about how the hostility between you and your ex-partner is impacting your children, then you should speak with a legal professional. They can evaluate your situation and help develop a parenting plan that minimizes conflict and gives your children the best chance to thrive.